I got married 2yrs ago the man that i got married to showed me afake side i feel deceived an betraye

know the real him on the wedding day.i got to know from his family he had operation when he was a child he had undesended testes that one of his brother had the same thing an that affected his fertility and he will never be able to have kids.from the wedding night he has been having problems performing he only lasts for two seconds.an now it has been 7months that we havent got a physical relationship at all.he use to get letters from hospital an hide them free after a year when he did go to the doctors he sent him for a sperm test.he did not tell me about the results later on l got to know that he has been referred to urologist and that he will have problems having kids.he has mentally tortured me verbally abused me made out that everything was in my head i was the one with the problem.promised me after marriage that after two months he would move out from his parents house were still living there.i have no space or privacy.the caring loving man that il thought he was was a fake side t

I got married 2yrs ago the man that i got married to showed me afake side i feel deceived an betrayed i got toglobe theater

Sounds like you could get the marriage annulled. I would contact a lawyer and look into it.

I got married 2yrs ago the man that i got married to showed me afake side i feel deceived an betrayed i got tooper opera theater

Sounds to me like you didnt know him very well before you got married. Maybe you rushed into this a little too fast. Get divorced now and find a real man who can reproduce.
hmmm I would have to say.............THIS IS YOUR FAULT 100% LOL WHY EMBARASS URSELF FURTHER........? Your the dumbass for marrying this guy in the 1st place....u have only urself to blame............or do u not want to hear the truth.
Honey, file for divorce. I don't think you will ever be happy with this man who is NOT trustworthy.

If you live in a state where a reason is required for the divorce, cite that you were misled over his inability to have kids.
Are you asking if you should get a divorce? You need to do what is right for you. If you feel you can't stay in this marriage then get out. If you want to work it out go to counseling....Be grateful you don't have children with this man.
tell him u want the truth and all of it or ur realationship will end soon cuz if he is that fake u deserve better
Why haven't you left? How long are you going to keep waiting for him to leave? You need to pack your things and leave.
Yikes. Get on birth control just in case. Who would want to share a child with this man, let alone their life?! How horrid. I assume your bags are packed, yes? Go home. Get an education. Don't get pregnant. Get happy and get the heck out of there. Really.
just get out. honestly i stuck around with a guy that deceived me and i didn't even realise it until we moved in together with in the first week i started catching him in lies and just over looked them and then it just snowballed more and more and about worse and worse things and he said the same exact thing to me it was all in my head and i was just crazy. please do yourself a favor get out. its not worth it.
Time to leave. Everyday you stay in this relationship now that you acknowledge all of this will be your fault. Leave today!
How often do I read similar comments as this one?

People get all warm %26amp; fuzzy %26amp; race off into marriage without really having a clue as to the true nature of their partner.

It isn't long before things go all awry as they get to know each other - along with each others shortcomings.

I have no sympathy. You made your bed - you lie in it!
Well you only can be mad at yourself, because you didn't give yourself time enough to really get to know your husband. Your husband was a man of many secrets that he didn't share with you before the marriage. They say you don't know a person until you lived with them.
I had the same thing happen to me. I married a man that was everything you see in the movies. He was polite, charming, hard worker, and claimed to have the same values as I did. What he hid from me (with the help of his family) is that he had previous mental illness issues. He suffered from paranoia and was verbally (and eventually) physically abusive. I saw NO signs of this until our honeymoon. When I reached out to his parents for help I discovered that he had struggled with extreme ups and downs his entire life. He pretended to love me for me, but he really just wanted a wife. He was a preachers kid and wanted the sterotypically Christian family... Once we were married he began telling me how a "wife" should act which was basically a silent slave. I gave him the option to get help, and he didn't... The lies were enough for me after 6 months. I asked him to move out and filed for divorce. I didn't even feel sad about being apart. I felt lied to and tricked. I felt like I married a stranger. The sperm issue is kind of different, but the abuse thing isn't. I can understand being afraid to tell someone that you can't have kids for fear of rejection. That's isn't okay, but I can understand that. There is NO excuse for the mental and verbal abuse. You need to attempt to get help together.... If he refuses then you know that your relationship is not a priority. There may be medications out there that can help him with his lack of sex drive. It's also possible that if you guys are fighting or if he feels that you are mad/disappointed with him that he can't perform sexually... That happens with men that don't have sexual issues. So give him a chance and if he's not interested then you have to move on. You deserve honesty and trust.... So seek it. Either at home or elsewhere if needed.
Actually an undesended testical isn't as uncommon as it sounds. My dad had the same problem and had an opperation when he was in seventh grade to correct it.

Guess what, if I'm here something went right.

Now if he had a testicle removed because of cancer there is a 50/50 chance he won't be able to concieve.

Talk to him about your concerns. Remember, adoption is still an option open to you. Don't jump ship just yet, especially if you still love him.
Leave him. http://www.divorcelawyers.com tell the lawyer all you told us.
It doesn't matter now what happened or who's fault it is.

It sounds like the situation is that you are in a marriage to a man who is cruel, abusive, who has medcal problems preventing him from having children (which, i assume you wanted) and he won't keep the promises he made you prior to the marriage.

But I'm not quite sure what your question is.

My only comment or suggestion is that you need to decide if there is anything that can be salvaged from this. Can you get him to seek help? Would you really want to have children with this man now anyway, considering he has been dishonest and cannot even support you in a home of your own? Are you working and able to get out on your own?

DO YOU WANT TO STAY AND TRY or are you ready to go out on your own and go it without him?

I understand you are frustrated and maybe the best thing to do is to find a flesh and blood person to speak with it about, someone who might help you in your decisions, someone to help you gain any confidence you need to feel free to make the decision, someone you trust that you can just TALK to about it.

The next step is yours, my dear,

Try making the smaller choices first (will i continue to live here with him or go live with my parents? - for example) Then try making decisions that are a bit bigger when you aren't so stressed by being around him all the time. Take it a step at a time and get some help with it.
First, get the hell out of there. Then, figure out what you want to do. I do not believe you have that opportunity in his mom's house.

And no children? You are fortunate in that, I hate to say it but I have seen what it is like w/ offspring involved. It gets really ugly, %26amp; the kids suffer the most.
You did not say how long you knew him before you married. Did you know his parents? Did you discuss kids? I know you have found out all this information about him, but your still there 2 years later. I think you know there is not much hope for you to stick around once a person has been deceived in certain ways nothing is the same anymore, you loose all respect for them then things turn very bitter. Since you don't have kids living in his parents house. You might want to cut your loses.
Sweetie, be indeed glad this guy is sterile.... you want a bunch of kids from some mean bast(a) ard like this... what ARE you thinking???? Why are you willing to settle for so little????? Living with his parents??? Are you NUTS??? If you are a neat lady, you deserve a neat guy... and only when you have one, hon, think about children with him......

Hon, if you had been my mom's child, this is what she would have been hammering into your head since you had been 13. You don't really handle this English language very well, so from here at least, you don't qualify for those high paying jobs my mama talks about....

1. The most important decision you will ever make is who you marry. Choose with your head as well as your heart. (You didn't, did you???)

2. Have no children until your bond is strong, and have no more than you yourself can support. You may just have to. (Be happy you have none with this guy....Can't you just see this??? all of you still living with his parents... what a nightmare. You think it is bad now,,, hon, you have no clue...)

3. At any and all costs finish your education to qualify for those high paying jobs. It is likely that you will work sometime during your marriage, probably for decades鈥? Get paid for it. And remember, your kids and your education are forever鈥? Husbands, lovers and promises are not!! (Oho, mama, how right you were....)

4. Have a stash of cash no one knows about even if you are sure you will never need it. You absolutely will, and the more the better.

In your place be careful with whom you have children, and sweetie, get some education... those small bucko jobs at McDonald's will have you working until you are 84--- not at McDonald's, but passing out those samples at Costco.... Those women aren't doing that for something to do, hon, they are doing that because they had children with the wrong guy, ended up supporting them on low paying jobs, and never, repeat, never will get out of the need for immediate cashola.... They have no savings... none of them... Look down the road at your future, and take some steps to make it brighter than it is looking at this point... Amen that you have no kids with this one... Save them for a nicer dad AMEN
hi laylah dont be weirded out by my name its just my screen name im a lady as well and im married too. when people meet and start dating each other, people who like each other dont tend to show who they really are because they want to show there best qualitys not there worst because they want the other person to like them and then if things go well they then eventually fall in love if its meant to be, they still dont show entirely who they are or its just difficult to do so. i think that you guys love each other and in a marriage there has to be honesty and trust i think that you and him need to sit down and have a serious conversation about the physical problems and the moving out of your inlaws problem which should be the first thing that need to be resolved you need your privacy you and him thats a must tell him to try viagra doctors sell that kind of stuff if you need it. ive been married for a while and dont have any children, most of my siblings have had there children and im the oldest of my moms kids ive had medical problems most of my life. i want children but im not going to make that my priority.the bottom line is that you and your husband need to be honest with yourselves and each other if you show him that he can come to you when he has a problem like that which is hard for a man when it comes to things like that things would be great .if the natural child birth doesnt work there are plenty of children that need good homes. i believe in staying together and working things out i also believe that with god all things are possible.i also believe that people are not door mats if you are being abused in any way you need help and if that doesnt work you need to get out of that relationship. i hope i was of some help ~toe jam~
To be honest with you, the fact that he can't have babies, is not what bothers me. is the fact the he lied, and on top he is abusive towards you. Don't take that crap from him, divorce him at once. He is not an honest man, and on top of it he doesn't respect you. Please sweetie, don't wait another minute, leave him and move on. You will find somebody honest that will treat you with respect and that will give you kids.
I am a little shocked that people find not being able to have children as a good enough reason for divorce! Divorce him because he is a deceitful jerk? Fine, sure, but if the only issue is not being able to have kids then I'm horrified!!